Reiki II

Well, this weekend was a big one. I have just done my Reiki level II. As expected it was quite full on. I've still got one more session tonight - but that's mainly just getting the certificate and doing some group Reiki. Saturday was good - had the attunement and basically I felt great, energised, and slept well that night. Sunday I awoke refreshed, but the day was loooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnggggggggggggg and exhausting. Good, but long. I ended up feeling extremely ill last night, with a migraine, vertigo and nausea and headed to bed early. I'm not sure if it was the early night, or what, but I awoke at 2am and couldn't get back to sleep!! I did finally fall asleep again for an hour or so and am pleased that this morning I'm feeling MUCH better than last night.

This morning I have been sitting and contemplating things. Life. My work. I'm really feeling ready to start my counselling practise now. I can also see how the Reiki can fit nicely in with it. It's funny, I came into my adulthood feeling as if I were a physical healer, which led me to do my medical degree. I have completely enjoyed learning about the body and have always felt that physical healing could be done, altered by 'outside' methods. Now I see that that power comes from within (obviously I've been coming to this realisation for a long while now, hence the counselling diploma), but until perhaps now, I still felt that it was good to back up this internal healing with an external source. I've always felt pulled to do other modes of healing - naturopathy, acupuncture, kinesiology, homeopathy... but for some reason I never learned them. I still love these methods, don't get me wrong, but I now feel that I don't need to do it as for the first time I'm feeling that the power of the mind is ALL that is needed. It is SUCH an incredible thing, this internal power we each have. The other methods are there merely to help support us until we are strong enough to take control by ourselves. In my counselling I aim to show people that they have this control themselves, that they are able to heal themselves, support themselves and live their own lives with utter freedom. Reiki is a loving, supporting energy that can help to boost people into their own strength. It helps clear the blocks to help booster their own self belief. I like it. It's gentle, yet powerful, and helps to centre people without pulling them off balance and making them self-reliant on an outside source. I know when I personally started my healing journey, I saw each of the practisioners as 'my saviour' in a way. I thought they'd 'fix' me. I didn't realise they were there to support me while I 'fixed' myself. Even until recent times I still felt that an external person had to be there to help me. I still go into that mode of thinking every now and again and have to consciously snap myself out of it. If I want to heal it's up to me. If I want control over my life I need to take control of my mind and take the ultimate responsibility for everything that happens to me.

I'm still growing, I'm still flowing and that's great. That means I'm still alive in this physical plane. I have opted to have this physical life and I'm now here to enjoy it. See the wonder of the world. See the wonder that is others. Feel them and know them as their eternal, beautiful souls. See the colours, feel the emotions, feel the love and head toward the light. If it is beautiful I want to go there. If it attracts me I want to go there. If it is exciting and challenging and uplifting I want to go there.

Life is good.

Keeping my energy high

I may be repeating myself here again, but once again I'm feeling that I need to enjoy the present, feel and imagine a future that is wonderful, exciting and full of blessings, and just ride through any 'not so pleasant' times, affirming that they will quickly pass and once again be wonderful.

The key, a lot, is to keep my energy up. It's very important to plan and allow myself to feel at my peak of health and vitality, so that I am able to keep myself positive and to keep my energy high. If my energy is high I can help others and I can help myself. If I allow my energy to drop it is not good for both others and especially for myself. One big drop can really take quite a bit to recover from and really there is no excuse for that - it doesn't have to be that way.

I think this is the major reason that I *shouldn't* (I use that word in inverted commas as I am very conscious of the trap of the shoulds) drink alcohol. For a long time I questioned this. I have had a lot of people, clairvoyants etc tell me to stop drinking (not that I drink much, but to abstain altogether). Seeing as I live my life consciously using the Law of Attraction I have struggled with this a bit, as alcohol can make me feel a whole lot better sometimes after a shocking day.

On Sunday I was invited to a champagne breakfast party. After half a glass I immediately felt my energy levels drop and I started to feel disorientated. Half a small glass! Well, several glasses later and I was NOT feeling very well at all and the rest of the day was written off completely. Bad, bad headache, no energy, aching all over, sinuses really blown up and sore...

So going back to what I said above that keeping my energy high so that I am able to live in the present, enjoying the now in a positive way is THE most important thing... well, that isn't possible with alcohol. Yes, there's a high, but there's always a down. Even with small amounts of alcohol and no hangover. I may not feel *sick* per say, but I definitely have an energy drop and that is important.

So, on that note, I'm going to take an early mark and get ready for bed, have a warm, soothing shower, clean my teeth, pull some cards for myself, read a bit of my current LOA book and have a long, restful sleep in my wonderfully comfortable bed, in my little home with my family that I most dearly love and adore.

Nice. Life is good ;-)

Conscious Manifestation

Life has moved on in interesting ways. I've had time to reflect and look at what I'm actually manifesting and giving my self both the awareness and time to think about whether this is actually what I DO want...

I've had a wonderful calm, free spirit energy around me lately in the form of a good friend from school whom I've recently become reacquainted with after 21 years. He's been great - a like soul who's helped me to feel again the energy that I truly am that has been a little lost in the busy-ness of life.

This new swirling of energy has caused a lot of stagnant energy to be swept up and away and it's allowed me to awaken a little and see a little more clearly.

There are some things I have manifested in my life that I don't like. I have a 'situation' with a neighbour (actually, I have three, but in this instance I'm referring to a 'friendship' that is very controlling). I don't like it. I think I manifested it as I asked for friendship, I needed it and I needed some friendship for my children also. This relationship has provided those things. Unfortunately the line has been stepped over and now instead of mutual friendship it has become a situation where I am being controlled. I don't like it. Contrast is SCREAMING at me that this is NOT what I want. How to change it though... I need to let in another friendship and let this one go - just stop focussing on it.

Okay, so that is situation number one that is causing me issues.

The second is as I have been mentioning, the 'where to live' situation.

I am really unsure of this one. If I REALLY go with my heart, I want to move to the country, to the rainforest, down in Uki where my heart dwells. How to actually make that break I'm really not sure. I don't want to just run away from what we have here just to remanifest the same situations down there again. The problems I have here really only stem from the fact that hubby works too much. I love him. A lot. He's a great husband and a great Dad. He's just away WAY too much for me to be comfortable. I need help with the kids. When he's here to help, the kids are fun and enjoyable. When he's not, it is difficult. I become overstimulated, the kids act up as there isn't an adult with them to give them both attention (often I'm cooking while they're doing other things like bathing, which is when they fight). If I have JB to help, the fighting doesn't happen.

So, the question is, how can we move to the country, and be able to work minimally (such as Mon - Fri, during school hours), and still have enough money to not have to stress and worry? That is an important question, and one which I'm going to just put out there.

Itchy feet?

Today I again felt the urge to do whatever it is I'm feeling compelled to do...

In frustration I started trawling Google, looking for my solution. Mt Warning property for sale... and I came up with a property for sale. It is 18 acres, with a creek, waterfalls, rainforest, accomodation (motel style) for 18, with permission for 30... a house, run by a couple with no staff. Sounds just perfect for us. So I sent them an e-mail to ask for business details. Can't hurt to ask, can it? I wonder if it's feasible for us to do. Our house is now positively geared, so the hope would be to rent this place out and buy that one and work it as a couple. How blissful to actually be able to have hubby home all the time?!! Ok, not all the time, but to know he doesn't work away six or seven days a week would be SOOOOOOOOOOOO nice!!!

So I'm putting it out there and seeing where it goes.

Obviously I'm being pulled ever more and more toward the south. Now would be an ideal time to go, when the kids are little and can take the change.

And before we burn out here.

Universe, you listening?

Of course you are. All is good.

Feeling the changes

The last few days/week I've been really feeling the tug of my need to fulfill my life's purpose. I know what I do each and every day is fulfilling that in many ways, but I guess here what I'm referring to is my career.

I've been quite busy helping my hubbie with his ('our') business of late. That's an interesting thing in itself because both of us feel this is really just a transitional business that is providing us with the necessary sustenance to live while we bring our true callings to light. It's not providing us with money that may pull us off our path with greed, but merely enough to get us by without worrying too much about things, allowing us to look forward to what we truly want to become. I feel blessed to have had this.

I've been questioning my purpose of late. I know that I have a strong desire to work with animals, not as I have done in the past in a day to day companion animal vetting sense. More as a native animal rescue, release and research role. I've been thinking of it again a lot lately and I'm not sure why. Perhaps as I have truly seen the 'ideal' property for me to set up a wildlife refuge and educational centre in beautiful Mt Glorious. I don't have the funding for this as yet, and I do feel perhaps that now is not the right time (perhaps only because I don't have the funds ;-)). But nevertheless, the thoughts are there and I've been watching them.

My other thoughts have been on finishing my counselling diploma. I have felt a huge sense of loss since finishing my last subject and 'waiting' to do my prac exams. Why I'm waiting I'm not sure. Perhaps I needed the time and the space to just be and do menial office tasks for our business for a while. This has allowed me to feel boredom, and to realise just how important this role is to me.

I am excited about finishing and I am excited about helping people. At times I read about some counselling of others and feel horribly insignificant, like I couldn't possibly help anyone. When I really listen to how I feel I know that is not true. I have a lot to give and I know I will be able to help many people as I already have done in the past.

It's time to move into this role. It's time to get it done.

A moment of clarity

Today I had a moment of clarity. One of those supreme 'wow' moments when you know you are connected fully to your true self and can see things as they really are.

Ahhhh - such wonderful, awe-inspiring moments... I always try to hang on to them for as long as I can when I feel them, knowing they won't last.

Although now I question - why do I feel that? Why can't they last?

During this moment of which I speak, I saw that life happens. Hard stuff, good stuff, easy stuff. If we can just ride through the hard stuff - breathe through it, knowing, REALLY knowing that it is merely a moment and will pass. All bad/hard times always do. In that knowing, in that realisation that it will pass, feel the moment for what it is, in all its contrast-producing, difficult, yet often passionate glory. Breathe, watch it. Slow it down. Feel it fully, because that moment will soon be history and life will once again be shining its glorious light.

At least that's the way it is for me. I know sometimes those tunnels of darkness can be long. Heck, I've been there. I wonder if perhaps they wouldn't have been so long if I hadn't become emotionally involved so much. Don't feel the pain, express the pain or be the pain. Just watch the pain and see it from a higher perspective.

Today Jenn was irritable. It was hot. We were getting ready for a party. There was expectation, stress. The kids got cranky - we all did. In a moment of frustration, I suddenly was struck with this bolt of clarity. I called her into join me. I said to her 'honey, you need to centre yourself. Come in with me (I was in the shower), shut the door (so her little bro couldn't disturb us) and sit on the toilet seat. Breathe in and out. In and out. Centre yourself, bring yourself back in to this moment. Listen to your breathe. Know that all is well.'

And it was. Perfect. Centred. Both of us.

Taking that time to realise that the discomfort is just a momentary thing - a moment sprung from ego - and that's all it was - and riding through it and centring and seeing it as it was, helped to bring in the light.

It was an amazing realisation for me and for her. Once again, all was good.

After that moment all, once again WAS good and the rest of the day flowed so beautifully, regardless of the fact that it was busy and incredibly hot.

Taking the time to quiet the mind and centre when you feel the tug of being out of balance does wonders.

All is good.