The clouds roll in

Today I was reminded of how blessed I really am. Some days I'm cranky. Okay, a lot of days I am cranky. I crank at my husband and I crank at the kids. But then I am reminded of what wonderful blessings I have with my wonderful little family when I see what others do not have. My little blessings didn't come to us easily. They both came after years of fertility treatments, IVF, other drugs, acupuncture, many different natural therapies... month after month after month after month. Two miscarriages causing more pain. Yet after all of that I've still managed to grump?!! I did end up with a pretty good case of post-natal depression after my daughter was born and I guess that is what stole my joy. Not a nice time and does depression ever REALLY go away?

But today I was again reminded of just how VERY lucky I am. So very lucky we all are. To have finally succeeded to have FINALLY two, not just one, but TWO gorgeous little babies to cuddle and rock and hold and love with all of my heart. To see them first smile, first crawl, first walk... To hear them call me mummy and to see them make me so very proud at kindy and at school. How could I possibly have taken such a joy for granted?

Today my brother and wife had their fourth miscarriage. Identical twins that weren't ready to make their way fully into this world. They also have had a long, long road to parenthood and unlike myself they are still walking it with empty arms and sad, lonely hearts. I pray for them to finally have their gorgeous little warm bundle of joy to finally take home and love.